Move Along, There’s NO Porn Here

The past couple of weeks my email has been inundated with comments awaiting moderation. So much so that I’ve taken a back seat on publishing posts. Reading and rereading my posts to find exactly what triggered the this onslaught. Doing some serious admin by process of elimination and plenty of discernment. But I’m baffled, a tiny bit overwhelmed and big time disgusted. Somehow I’ve gained an audience of porn marketers. Not that I believe they read a word of what I wrote.

At first I had a jolly good laugh, because how the actual? Like how? I am just another woman who wants other women to know a few home truths like: “Hey, you’re not alone. I’m a weirdo too.” 😉 “No woman is ordinary.” Hence the name of this blog. Or did you think I’m arrogant enough to think that I’m No Ordinary Woman? Then again, I am that arrogant. That is what I’m feeding you so why not just claim it. Right? Another fact about this blog is that I share experiences aimed at empowering. And while women are my target audience, men can benefit from the posts too. Even if it’s just to climb inside a woman’s brain reading 1000 or more words. Win, win.

Sure I talk about sex every once in a while…

Yes, SEX is something I don’t mind discussing. On the interwebs or in real life. Especially in real life. So I guess it’s to be expected that I’d be on the receiving end of all that admin and it serves me right. Such fun. Clicking away the spam and deleting emails like it’s no ones business. Making screen shots of said spam and editing the pics to give you an idea of what my inbox looks like on the daily. Over 100 emails in the past couple of weeks! Which sadly made me miss out on some great comments. And also sceptical about the great comments.

But you see the thing about talking about sex is not the act itself. Good grief, I don’t want you imagining me in some compromising position. We all know that the amount of times I’ve done it equals the amount of kids I have. It’s about all the other aspects it entails. Normal taboo topics. Contraceptives, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies And, and, and… How I need to desex myself on a daily basis to avoid unwanted advances from hormone stricken boys. Young and old. And then I’m not even a bombshell.

More recently sex has become a huge problem to me. Not the act itself or even an unacceptable touch. And not to me personally but as a woman I am taking this personally. Very personally. So much so that I have opened my big mouth and become the voice of those women who have no choice but to listen to sexual innuendos from men who feel it’s their God given right to say what they want. When they want.

For a while I stood by as a casual observer hearing unsavoury things being said to young ladies. Even though it’s grated me, I’ve kept quiet because it’s not my business. It hasn’t been done to me so I didn’t know if I should say something. If I any right to. I’ve been undecided on what to do about it and admittedly forgot about it. Until it happened again. Then when I finally made up my mind, a large part of me was too scared to say anything because I didn’t want to open a can of worms. Because who am I?

The thing about being a mom is that your kids give you so much courage. They become your conscience and everything you do is because of them and for them. When I look at my girls, I want to protect them with my being and shelter them from all harm. I know that I will kill for them. I want to equip them with knowledge and skills to defend themselves from assholes. I want them to be boss ladies who can cut anyone down to size. But I don’t just want this for my own girls. I want all women and girls to be a force to be reckoned with.

Sadly, not every woman can identify that she’s being harassed. They will feel a bit uncomfortable but write off as overreacting. Or believe that it was their imagination. So they rationalize with themselves. “That uncle who everyone respects who’s happily married with daughter’s of his own will never say something unsavoury.” Sound familiar? If it doesn’t then good for you you. You dodged some bullets with wolves in sheep clothing. Not everyone is that lucky.

For young girls it’s even worse. They always believe that no one will believe them. Even worse is that the moment they open their mouths in retaliation, their self worth is torn to shreds. They are made to feel even worse and end up believing that they were the cause. The worst case scenario is always the “I was joking” or “Can’t you take a joke?” It happens. I have seen it. And I am ashamed for being too much of a wuss to say anything.

I am angry at myself for letting it go on for as long as I did. Not too angry to make myself believe that it’s too late to do something about it now. And it’s NEVER TOO LATE. This b.s. stops now. I am part of the village after all.

Since it is Women’s Month, I am appealing to all women, and men, to speak up when you can. If you find that you can’t do something about it, find someone who can. Our world is so broken already but we have the ability to save at least one person.

PS: Now to get back to the unread emails and sexually charged trash comments. Yay, such fun!

PPS: If you’re the one sending me trash, please stop. I’m a straight laced boring mom who really doesn’t have time to be filtering emails and spamming yours. I’m busy.

PPPS: If you’re reading this and truly enjoyed this post or any of my others, drop me a comment. I’d like to hear from you. I’m not that busy.

With love,

CJ

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