Person who influenced me

When I looked at this prompt I had no idea what to write. You see, I’m not easily influenced. This is a quality that my son has inherited from me. Like me, he’s not easily swayed and I’m grateful for his steadfast personality at such a young age. The more I thought of this and what to write, the more I realized that my son is the person who influenced me.

At 18 I fell pregnant with him and my whole life changed. Instead of being a child, I was now a mother and if there was one thing I needed to be sure of was that this kid would call me mom. There was no way that my parents would take responsibility for my kid. They helped a lot but this kid was mine and my husband’s and we would do right by him. Every decision I made from then would be in his best interest. Although, I can’t say that my stubbornness during labour was his best intentions at heart. With every contraction his heart would skip beats and he was in distress. Hours before his birth the doctor wanted to perform a C-section but me being afraid of being cut resisted it. I adamantly told them that the baby would “come out” where God intended to come out. Hours and lots of pain later, in the wee hours of a Friday morning, my son was born at 04:20. And he was more than OK. He was a healthy chap who wiggled his way out of the birth canal when he saw the light, tearing my vagina. I ended up needing stitches after all. But from birth this kid proved to be a go-getter.

There are so many parenting guides around and one never knows which advice to follow either because everyone has had a unique experience with their own kids and what works for them may not work for you. Mothering this kid has been made easier on account that he was my guide to parenting him. All 3 my kids are like this. They show me how to be THEIR mom. Eighteen years into it, I can definitely tell any new mother that they should take their cues from their kids. Be mindful about parenting and don’t compare kids. Your own or other people’s kids.

My son is a natural born leader. He doesn’t get swayed and doesn’t follow the crowds. He is so comfortable in his own skin that he honestly doesn’t have a care about trivial things like brand named clothing. Oh he loves looking good and having fashionable items but (thank the heavens!) he has never pressurized us for ridiculously expensive items. His swag is all in the way he walks tall, talks and how he treats people. Gosh I’ve my husband and I have done a pretty good job at raising him.

From a young age, this kid has been influencing me to be the best I can be. I am responsible for sending a decent human out into the world so I needed to be a decent human and walk my talk. We all know that kids learn more from our actions than they do by our words. And if you have never been consistent in your life, parenting will teach you that lesson right from the time you have to set routines for nap times etc.

One of the lessons I had to teach him was how to treat women. Yep, guys need to be taught this and the best person to do this is their mom. Dad’s have plenty of influence too because how they treat their kids mothers has a major effect on the behaviour towards women one day. But there is a special relationship between a mom and son. I can’t quite explain it. When I talk about my son people naturally think he’s my favourite. It’s not the case. My girls are special and I treasure our bond. There is just a different bond with boys. Since he’s my firstborn too, most of who I am today and the kind of mom I am has been shaped by him since 04:20 on that cold winter morning.

You see, the moment kids enter your life you have to have it together. Not all together. You are allowed mistakes and to lose your marbles on occasion. You’re allowed to be frustrated and cry for everything and nothing at all. But most of all, when kids enter your life, it’s best to tey and be as flexible as possible or you’ll end up with mom guilt.

Having my son influenced me to be a great mom to my girls and generally just step out of my comfort zone. Being his mom has made me believe in myself and my abilities that much more. The woman I am today is because of the boy I carried in my belly for nine months. And I quite like who I am today. Our live a may not be perfect and I may not be able to afford all the luxury this life has to offer but I have enough love in my heart and it keeps growing. All because of my little boy who is fast becoming the man I feel comfortable sharing with the world.

Who influences you?

With love,

CJ

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