Revelations of Boxed Wine

Do you ever spend time living inside your head instead of on the outside world?

This was me for a few days last week and again yesterday. Moments where my husband and kids would speak to me and I would be oblivious to their existence. I zoned out completely and was happily engrossed in other people’s lives. Not the latest reality show or family dramas or any real people, although they are real to me. I have been practicing my hobby and continuing to pursue my dream of writing. Developing characters I both love and loathe as I plot and plan. Giving them unique character traits and life stories. Gosh I love living in my head. Sometimes it’s not all its cut out to be because my characters seem to be rebellious and are talking right back to me! What the actual?

A few weeks ago someone gifted the husband and I boxed wine because we are wine lovers. We’re no wine connoisseurs but for a moment there I pulled up my nose because I’m not quite a fan of boxed wine. Last night however as I had yet another argument with one of my characters I decided to pour myself a glass and realised that not all wine is equal and a boxed wine is still wine. Then it hit me… I wondered when I’d become such a snob. I mean really, my last name is Jonkers and NOT Jones yet here I’d been looking a gifted horse in the mouth for a few weeks because who in this day and age still drinks boxed wine? I’m not a poor college student who had just discovered the joys of drinking. But then also… Who the heck do I think I am?

First off, we’re not rich but we do own everything we really want so it’s often difficult for the husband and I to get each other and the kids gifts. Except for the fact that my husband would really love to own a Golf 7. Sorry babe, that ain’t happening. And maybe the fact that I would love to have dental implants. But that ain’t happening anytime soon either and it’s not a train smash.We find pleasure in the simple things in life and do not live beyond our means. Between the husband mulling over purchases ten thousand times before we actually purchase an item and my Budget Barbie antics there is really no room for being extravagant and the need to keep up with the Joneses. This doesn’t mean that boxed wine is ever on my shopping list. And neither is the most popular coffee brand that I was raised with. You know, the one with the yellow label? We both like our coffee strong and don’t mind paying extra for good coffee.

December 2010 I paid up my balances on my clothing store accounts and closed them. I wish I could say that I’ve never regretted it or that I don’t look back on that life, but I do. Unlike many other people I can’t just go into a store and buy whatever I want and not worry about a price tag. Sometimes I’m tempted to open up a store account again and go on a shopping spree, then I’m reminded how hard I work for my money and how I don’t want to owe anyone anything. I don’t want to be beholden to anyone or a company. In the grand scheme of things I don’t regret my decision back then. Only sometimes when I don’t have the money to buy something right then and there I kind of feel it. Instant gratification bites but having money in the bank that’s mine to spend whichever way I want is awesome. In fact I can’t imagine not buying a bottle of Prosecco on a whim and sipping a glass while I do my ironing. A girl needs some kind of motivation to do ironing. Or is it just me?

I’ve never felt the need to impress anyone. Maybe when I was a teen I tried that but soon realised that if I wanted to be happy, comparison was definitely not the way to go. Though somewhere along the line, between me having some ideals on my way of life and shopping at places like PEP and Choice Clothing, because style doesn’t have a price tag, I have become accustomed to certain things. I am not so much brand conscious as I am loyal to my wallet but I must admit that le grand life does enthrall me so I compromise on some things in order to afford the ones I really want. Eating takeout every single week is one of the ways in which I compromise. Not so much of a compromise because the kids and husband would much rather have something homemade and eat all they can with extra trimmings than go out and have half of what they could have. Pizza is obviously not negotiable and so is the odd Masala Steak Gatsby.

Think about it… Would you rather spend money daily getting a coffee to go or buy your own exquisite coffee and not limit yourself to one cup a day? Would you rather buy the latest brand of fad in fashion or spend money on a singular classic item and have enough money to get a few cheapie fashion items of the season. I don’t know about you but I find myself not always wearing the same style or colours every season. Fashion is fickle. Like pizza, there are other items that I can’t go without. My Ruby Woo lipstick. No other shade of red does it for me like that one does. I’ve received a few gifts and although I loved the gifts, it’s not items I would purchase myself. If I’m cash strapped, normal lip balm or Vaseline will do because Mac is Mac after all.

The Same goes for Estee Lauder foundation. Nothing compares. Although Essence have some amazing products and I have a foundation that works ok. When it comes to hair products, I’m a nattie (natural hair enthusiasts) and that’s where a lot of my money goes to. I still don’t know why all those products are so darn expensive but they smell so good. However, I’ve learnt to make my own products and customize it they way I want it. Also a bit of an expensive exercise when you start purchases but when you sit and work it all out you’ll note that it costs a fraction of the start up costs. I was serious about me being a Budget Barbie. My parents will also tell you I’m a tad eccentric.

Recycling is our jam and more and more we are moving towards biodegradable products and choose to live a sustainable life. Somewhere along the line we became eco warriors. Doing our bit little by little because we’re naive enough to believe that we can make a difference. We’re a family of 5, so it’s 5 humans more to take charge of saving world. Something I’m very proud of and will shout from the rooftops.

Being an eccentric, eco warrior, Prosecco drinking Budget Barbie type who would rather use Vaseline as make up instead of a lipstick that is not MAC kind of makes me think I’m all that and a bag of chips. A snob of some sorts. You see, I do a lot of compromising in my life but certain things are not negotiable. I would much rather have a glass of water or nothing at all if I have to drink coffee that doesn’t satisfy my tastebuds. I will decline an invitation to an event if it doesn’t fall in line with the lifestyle I lead. I will choose a book over human contact any day. I have been placed on a pedestal.

My thinking I’m all that has nothing to do with the material things I can or can’t afford to buy at times. It has nothing to do with my humanitarian outreach programme efforts or my eco consciousness. That pedestal I’m on is not of my own doing. I can hardly walk on heels these days so I choose even ground and level spaces. I think I’m all that because I am me. Uniquely formed. With all my quirks I have an amazing capacity to love and I am humble. I don’t believe I’m rich or low class, nor do I believe I’m middle class. I am living the best life I can and class is a state of mind. Boxed wine is a state of mind. It doesn’t compare to a good bottle of Pinot Noir but it’s wine, and Robertson does make delicicious wines.

With each sip of the boxed wine I realised that my being a snob has nothing to do with money or class. I don’t conform to society’s standards and am perfectly happy with sharing good company with anyone like minded. It doesn’t matter if someone has lots of money or nothing at all, live in a mansion or a shack, has a degree or is illiterate. If we can connect on a level that feeds my soul I will eat PB sandwiches with you and drink boxed wine or mix-a-drink. Whatever really. Give me real and I will be eating out your hand. Oh and give me pineapple flavour mix-a-drink. Somehow it sparks joyful memories.

The snob in me draws the line with pretenders. She dislikes them tremendously. I will decline invitations to events where my title or bank balance determines my importance. Where the brand of my make up and kids schools make me level up to some kind of glamour queen. My inner snob who only uses two or three ply toilet paper (and only because I get it for free at my husband’s work) will parade in all wonder and glory because it’s expected. While doing eye rolls so hard that my face will hurt. The snob in me is selective.

She fills her cup with gratitude and her success is not measured by things. It’s life and the people who enrich it. She doesn’t live up to others expectations of what others think she should do. She doesn’t look down her nose at people and think them low class, but believes that sometimes people limit themselves by accepting a life that they feel the deserve instead of pursuing their passions. A sad reality for many people. The snob people see and the one that resides in me are two different people.

In all I’ve done and all I’ve become, the harsh reality is that because I am living my life the way I want and choose not to conform, I’ve become a snob. Not my own doing but a label that has been attached to me. One that I hate but that I’ve come to enjoy because if you can’t join them, beat them. Confidence is the one factor that differentiates people. My confidence revolution is what makes me arrogant enough to believe that anything I touch can and will turn to gold. FYI: That’s the kind of thinking that gets me labelled.

You don’t ever have to settle for less. Pay attention to the here and now and maybe, just maybe you’ll notice a chance at an opportunity to do something differently. Opportunities are all around us. And if you are satisfied with less, that is more than ok. It’s freaking brilliant! We don’t all have crave to be extraordinary. As long as happiness fills your life, I am happy.

I don’t think I’m a snob. Come to think of it, I’d sooner say that I’m full of beans than a snob. The label has been wrongfully placed. Nevermind incorrectly named. My husband and kids are my life. Anything that doesn’t include them is not something that interests me. I’m one of the least judgemental people you’ll ever meet but when it comes to my kids, I have a responsibility of raising humans who will make this world proud. They don’t have to be subjected to certain experiences. That includes drunken displays and unsavoury company. Maybe it’s rude and maybe people will take offense to it but my life, my choice. My kids, my responsibility.

Boxed wine will never be my favourite but it sure as hell ain’t low class. The headache of a few sips too many will however be a not so gentle reminder that not all wines are exactly equal. But that’s the worries of the morning after.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to slapping on some red lipstick, slipping on my highest heels and sipping Prosecco later today while I do my ironing. The joys of being a wife and mother. And of all this makes me a snob, at least I’ll be a snob with clean and ironed clothes.

PS: Living in my head is not just reserved for days when I’m writing. It’s my safe place where I stay out of mischief and enjoy being me. Unapologetically.

Quick question… Am I the only person who is judged by perception? Would love to hear what people think of you and how much truth lies in their thoughts.

With love,

CJ

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