What social media won’t tell you about me

There is nothing more frustrating than having a conversation with someone in real life and their response to whatever you’re trying to tell them is “Oh I saw on Facebook…” Or “I know your whole life story/ all about what’s going on in your house.” My Facebook account is random and sporadic for that reason. It started becoming tedious the moment people though they knew more about me than having an actual conversation with me.

It was exactly at those moments my mind did an involuntary double takes. While they’re busy telling me about my daughter’s latests quips or my quirks I did mental checks on my status updates. Well it is no secret that I dote on my five kids (K3, Kilo and the hubster). Two of the kids born of this body are as quirky as I am. I’m an open book and don’t get embarrassed easily. It’s also the I’m not gossip worthy either.

Then I wonder if I had indeed posted that I lost my tampon (not proud but it has happened), my bra cup has increased, my apology for being late at some function had nothing to do with tardiness but everything to do with the fact that I didn’t want to go, how I hate being married (on occasion), that I don’t allow the better half anywhere near me on my birthday, what colour my walls are painted, I have a purple cupboard in my kitchen or my relationship with my inlaws. During my mental assessment of what I actually share assures me that my Facebook account is indeed not my autobiography and I still have some air of mystery.

My blog account though… That’s where all the magic happens. I have very little filter as I share bits of my life. Microblogging on Instagram has been my go to for a long time now and I love sharing parts of my life. Now if you want to start up a convo with that then I know you know the real me. At least enough to know who I am at the core.

I’ve just shared a few random things with you but without further ado, here is the actual list of facts about me that no amount of online status updates will ever give anyone:

1) I hate being married between December and early March. Body heat is a killer.

2) What I actually mean when I say ‘we’ is ‘not me’, but also ‘mostly me’. Depending on the context of what I write.

3) I know the meaning of the word *arcane but hardly use it because it’s arcane. Also, I’m arcane. For someone who is quite well read it makes no sense for me to use words that not everyone understands all the time. I want a conversation and words don’t make conversations. (Just my opinion)

4) I don’t necessarily consider talking about the news and current affairs as intellectual. Besides, the news has become so depressing of late and too many controversies making rounds makes my head want to explode.

5) My singing range is alto. I used to sing in the choir at school and church. I even sang in the worship team at some stage. But I’m also tone deaf.

6) I don’t sing in the shower but do have imaginary arguments (that I obviously win) while I’m there.

7) Although I’m physically present, my mind is almost always miles away. I’m a writer. We tend to zone when inspiration strikes. One day I will publish a book but I’m still far too ill disciplined to finish editing what I have written. And there’s a lot!

8) I don’t do fake but I’d like to think I’m mature enough to tolerate some people. We don’t get to choose everyone were forced to interact with. I also believe in being kind, so even if someone is a turd I will probably not say anything. We don’t have to enter every battle we’re invited to. Plus being rude is a big No-No in my books.

9) I hate the hubster’s second name because it’s also the name of a teen crush who crushed my tender heart. I won’t be including it on his headstone one day. But there’s no hard feelings. I’m a big girl now. 😁

10) The one person who really gets me is my eldest sister. We communicate without using full sentences and our incessant giggles makes our mom want to give us a backhand every so often.

11) I like to defy the norm so I’m an oddball by choice. It’s also the reason for making a 14 point list instead of the normal 10 or 20.

12) My son’s second name is supposedly a combination of the hubster and his sister’s names. I hate that I allowed my mother inlaw to talk me into that one. That’s what happens when you’re young and starry eyed. Buy why did she want to name my kid after her two kids? And what’s up with coloured grandparents and battling to name their first grandchildren?

13) The fear of losing my husband or kids to death often makes me regret getting married and having children. Luckily I don’t ponder on that too often. My life is filled with too much love to ever wish them away.

14) What you see is not what you get from me. I’m an open book mostly and prefer not to filter or water down who I am to please people. I am however not what most people expect when we have convo’s. I’ve been told too many times that I come across as Miss Thang. Which is weird because that’s the last thing I am.

Oh and before you go getting any ideas… My lost tampon was actually found under my bed and not in fact “up there”. You’ll be amazed to know what I find under my bed at times. As for my birthday… Well my birthday is in October and two of my kids are born in July. Hubby’s birthday is in July as well so you do the math on that one. Seriously, count the months.

Like I always say (in my head) when people’s favourite topic revolves around themselves: “ME, ME, ME… Oh enough about yourself!” That’s it from me for today.

I’d love to hear about your “Me, Me, Me” stories and get to know who you are. Drop a comment below.

*Arcane definition: Known or understood by few, mysterious, secret

With love,

CJ ❤

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